Finally on your own...or not...
After four or more years of defining and personalizing our lifestyles, prioritizing work and other daily activities around our schedules, organizing and cleaning (or not) how we see fit, and making day-to-day decisions that by and large effect only ourselves, most of us will be forced to come to terms with a drastic (and for some, frightening) change in lifestyle that will bring all of that to a screeching halt: moving back in with our parents.
In three short months, I will be packing up and leaving everything I’ve known for the last four and half years to move in with my father and his girlfriend. Not the ideal living situation for an independent (and at times hard-headed) college graduate. In light of this, I’ve done a lot of thinking and have compiled a list of suggestions as to how the transition back home - both for myself as well as other new grads bracing themselves for a similar life change - can be made as smooth and painless as possible...
Buy groceries. I don’t know about your household, but in mine, everything in the kitchen might as well have someone’s name written on it. Consequently, food often becomes an unforeseen source of tension and drama. So if your family is anything like mine, next time you go for that half-eaten tuna salad sandwich in the fridge, maybe stare at it for three seconds and think, “should I just run to the deli and buy my own?” Odds are that doing so will not only help you avoid unwanted confrontation, but also impress your parents, perhaps keeping them at bay during a future food-related confrontation.
Dress yourself. My dad and I fit the same size shoes, shirts, pants, belts, socks, underwear, watches, hats; basically anything that can be worn or used as an accessory. If he owns it, I’ve worn it, and if I’ve worn it, we’ve argued about it, and I’m willing to bet that I’m not the only one who this scenario sounds familiar to.
It’s time to stop.
We’re supposed to be young, self-sustaining, college-educated adults, and one of the most easily-altered areas of our lives in which we can begin to demonstrate our pathetic attempt at adulthood is in our closets. While there are bound to be aspects of our lives that might forever seem immature or irresponsible in our parent’s eyes, we can certainly start independently dressing ourselves, like an adult; even if our parents think we’ll never be able to act like one.
Contribute. Take out the trash, do the dishes and walk the dog; taking initiative to complete these seemingly minuscule tasks can go a very long way. Similar chores, which we once complained about in high school - although they probably still annoy us just the same - should become second nature, and honestly, it’s the least we can do in exchange for being housed, fed and probably the recipient of a few other perks - I’m pretty sure there’s a fairy in my house that cleans and folds laundry - at no cost, other than the occasional hug.
Count pennies. Chances are if you went to a major undergraduate institution you now have a good idea of the value of a dollar, and if your parents are anything like mine, they’ve each invested the monetary equivalent of a new Cadillac into your future. In return, let’s be kind to our parent’s wallets, checking accounts, piggy banks, credit cards, and any other method(s) by which we’ve siphoned their hard earned dollars when we return home to create yet another inconvenience in their lives. Doing so will show them how appreciative we are of their past, present and (hopefully) future support.
So, be prepared to compromise and let yourself lose an argument or two. If we do our best to become contributing members of our household, and not money borrowing, clothes stealing, food consuming leeches, then maybe, just maybe, our parents will see how much we’ve grown since they shipped us off four years ago. If we’re lucky, they’ll be much more inclined to let us crash with them for another four (god forbid).
In three short months, I will be packing up and leaving everything I’ve known for the last four and half years to move in with my father and his girlfriend. Not the ideal living situation for an independent (and at times hard-headed) college graduate. In light of this, I’ve done a lot of thinking and have compiled a list of suggestions as to how the transition back home - both for myself as well as other new grads bracing themselves for a similar life change - can be made as smooth and painless as possible...
Buy groceries. I don’t know about your household, but in mine, everything in the kitchen might as well have someone’s name written on it. Consequently, food often becomes an unforeseen source of tension and drama. So if your family is anything like mine, next time you go for that half-eaten tuna salad sandwich in the fridge, maybe stare at it for three seconds and think, “should I just run to the deli and buy my own?” Odds are that doing so will not only help you avoid unwanted confrontation, but also impress your parents, perhaps keeping them at bay during a future food-related confrontation.
Dress yourself. My dad and I fit the same size shoes, shirts, pants, belts, socks, underwear, watches, hats; basically anything that can be worn or used as an accessory. If he owns it, I’ve worn it, and if I’ve worn it, we’ve argued about it, and I’m willing to bet that I’m not the only one who this scenario sounds familiar to.
It’s time to stop.
We’re supposed to be young, self-sustaining, college-educated adults, and one of the most easily-altered areas of our lives in which we can begin to demonstrate our pathetic attempt at adulthood is in our closets. While there are bound to be aspects of our lives that might forever seem immature or irresponsible in our parent’s eyes, we can certainly start independently dressing ourselves, like an adult; even if our parents think we’ll never be able to act like one.
Contribute. Take out the trash, do the dishes and walk the dog; taking initiative to complete these seemingly minuscule tasks can go a very long way. Similar chores, which we once complained about in high school - although they probably still annoy us just the same - should become second nature, and honestly, it’s the least we can do in exchange for being housed, fed and probably the recipient of a few other perks - I’m pretty sure there’s a fairy in my house that cleans and folds laundry - at no cost, other than the occasional hug.
Count pennies. Chances are if you went to a major undergraduate institution you now have a good idea of the value of a dollar, and if your parents are anything like mine, they’ve each invested the monetary equivalent of a new Cadillac into your future. In return, let’s be kind to our parent’s wallets, checking accounts, piggy banks, credit cards, and any other method(s) by which we’ve siphoned their hard earned dollars when we return home to create yet another inconvenience in their lives. Doing so will show them how appreciative we are of their past, present and (hopefully) future support.
So, be prepared to compromise and let yourself lose an argument or two. If we do our best to become contributing members of our household, and not money borrowing, clothes stealing, food consuming leeches, then maybe, just maybe, our parents will see how much we’ve grown since they shipped us off four years ago. If we’re lucky, they’ll be much more inclined to let us crash with them for another four (god forbid).